Tell me your Golf Jokes

This is the part of the site where you can send us your Golf Jokes. Here are some we’ve had already, hope you enjoy them and don’t forget to send me yours using this form.

Golf Latest "How To's"
How to line up your fifth putt
How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee.
How to avoid the water when you’re lying 6 in the bunker.
How to get more distance off the shank.
How to use your own shadow on the greens to maximize earnings.
How to rationalize a 7 hour round.
How to keep calm when you're hitting five off the tee.
How to find that ball that everyone saw go in the water.

A man is getting married, and is standing by his bride to be at the church.
Standing along side him are his golf clubs and bag.
She whispers: "Why have you brought your golf clubs with you?"
And the man replies "This is not going to take all day is it?"

Some Golfing terms often used on the course:

For Driving
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
A Michael Jackson - great at the beginning but gradually fading
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to be a good result
An Alistair Campbell - too much spin
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
An elephant's arse - it's high; and it stinks
A mistress - I'm up there, but I know that I shouldn't be

Does your husband play? - for when a man hits a short tee shot
 

For the Short Game
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
An Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
A Paris Hilton - a bloody expensive hole
A Kate Moss - thinned it

For Putting
A Dennis Wise - a nasty five footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution

Here are some great famous Golf quotes.......

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